Creativity and Love: Taking it one day at a time.

I was driving around today, wondering aloud if I'm one of those crazy girls. You know the type. The kind that want to use whatever God gave them to get male attention.

No way, I thought. If I'm self-aware enough to wonder, then I can't be all that nutty. But then again, I was saying this aloud, hoping the people in the other cars assumed that I was wearing an invisible blue tooth device.

In the end, I decided - again aloud - that I might have a few isolated pockets of nutty.

Here's the biggest one: When creativity starts to scare the sh!t out of me, I start wanting to date. Or be admired. Or have someone check out my gams. Like I'm gonna have to keep my gams covered so I don't lapse into the gam-checking-out wanting.

Dating is a time-consuming, soul-rending process that has been absolutely deleterious to my creative endeavours ever since I started pursuing them professionally. Being with Art was good because he was a brilliant writer and a supportive mate, but even starting things up with him was a distinct pain in the ass. Super distracting.

So...for the time being, I'm taking it one day at a time. Whenever I want a little hit of male attention, I'll try writing a song (I could use the practice anyway - my songs are awful). And whenever I fall into one of those involuntary crushes that have been plaguing me since I was 6 freaking years old, I'll ignore him and send a query to Marie Claire. Or go for a walk. Or rearrange my geraniums.

So wish me luck. One day at a time.